Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
