take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you never un-have a 4some
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