So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
