So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
