Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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