I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Help. Why am I so naked?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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