just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
