It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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