Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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