I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
