I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize