Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
