hell yes lets make some ravioli
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
