You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize