just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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