1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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