i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
