is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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