never play flip cup with pint glasses
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize