Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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