Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
