We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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