I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
