Already got asked if we're dating
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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