So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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