I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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