I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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