I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
