he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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