all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
