Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
