Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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