If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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