she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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