What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
