My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize