dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
