I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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