I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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