I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
