Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
