some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
