I love black thongs
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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