fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
