Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize