well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I still have a little drunk in my system
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
