so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
