i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
