I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
