I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
please come you make the beer taste better
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
