i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
