She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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