I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
