ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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