I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
