Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
