Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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