Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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