I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
