Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
